The Copy of a Valedictory and Monitory Writing (1681)
DEAR and loving Husband, if it should
please the Lord to make a sudden change in
thy family, the which I know not how soon it
may be, and I am fearful of it:
Therefore in a few words I would declare
something of my mind, lest I should after-
wards have no opportunity: I cannot but
sympathize and pity thy condition, seeing that
thou hast a great family of children, and some
of them small, and if it should please the
Lord to add to thy number one more or tw7o,
be not discouraged, although it should please
the Lord to deprive thee of thy weak help
which is so near and dear unto thee. Trust
in the living God, who will be an help to the
helpless, and a father to the motherless: My
desire is, that if thou art so contented, to dis-
pose of two or three of my children: If it
please the Lord that I should be delivered of
a living child, son or daughter, my desire is,
that my father and mother should have it, if
they please, I freely bequeath and give it to
them. And also my desire is, that my cousin
Symond Stacy should have John if he please,
I freely bequeath and give him to him for his
own if thou art willing. And also my desire
is, that my cousin Catharine Whipple should
have Susanna, which is an hearty girl, and
will quickly be helpful to her, and she may be
helpful to the child, to bring her up: These
or either of these I durst trust their care un-
der God, for the faithful discharge of that
which may be for my children’s good and
comfort, and I hope to thy satisfaction:
Therefore if they be willing to take them, and
to deal well by them, answer my desire I pray
thee, thou hast been willing to answer my re-
quest formerly, and I hope now thou wilt, this
being the last so far as I know.
Honoured and most loving father and moth-
er I cannot tell how to express your fatherly
and motherly love towards me and mine: It
hath been so great, and in several kinds; for
the which in a poor requital, I give you hearty
and humble thanks, yet trusting in God that
he will enable you to be a father and mother
to the motherless: Be not troubled for the
loss of an unworthy daughter; but rejoice in
the free grace of God, that there is hopes of
rejoicing together hereafter in the place of
everlasting joy and blessedness.
Brothers and Sisters all, hearken and hear
the voice of the Lord, that by his sudden
providence doth call aloud on you, to prepare
yourselves for that swift and sudden messenger
of death: that no one of you may be found
without a wedding garment; a part and por-
tion in Jesus Christ: the assurance of the love
of God, which will enable you to leave this
world, and all your relations, though never so
near and dear, for the everlasting enjoyment of
the great and glorious God, if you do fear him
in truth.
The private society, to which while here I
did belong; if God by his Providence come
amongst you, and begin by death to break
you; be not discouraged, but be strong in re-
penting, faith & prayers with the lively re-
peatal of God’s counsels declared unto you
by his faithful messengers: O pray each for
another and with one another; that so in these
threatning times of storms and troubles, you
may be found more precious than gold tried in
the fire. Think not a few hours time in your
approaches to God mispent; but consider seri-
ously with yourselves, to what end God lent
to you any time at all: This surely I can
through grace now say ; that of the time that
there I spent, through the blessing of God, I
have no cause to repent, no not in the least.
O my children all, which in pains and care
have cost me dear; unto you 1 call to come
and take what portion your dying mother will
bestow upon you: many times by experience
it hath been found, that the dying words of
parents have left a living impression upon the
hearts of Children; O my children be sure to
set the fear of God before your eyes ; con-
sider what you are by nature, miserable sin-
ners, utterly lost and undone; and that there
is no way and means whereby you can come
out of this miserable estate; but by the Medi-
ation of the Lord Jesus Christ: He died a
reproachful death, that every poor humble and
true repenting sinner by faith on God through
him, might have everlasting life: O my Chil-
dren, the best counsel that a poor dying Moth-
er can give you is, to get a part and portion in
the Lord Jesus Christ, that will hold, when
all these things will fail; O let the Lord Jesus
Christ be precious in your sight.
O children, neighbours and friends, I hope I
can by experience truly say, that Christ is the
best, most precious, most durable portion, that
all or any of you can set your hearts delight
upon: I for ever desire to bless and praise the
Lord, that he hath opened mine eyes to see
the emptiness of these things, and mine own;
and to behold the fulness and riches of grace
that is in the Lord Jesus Christ: To that
end my children, I do not only counsel you,
but in the fear of the Lord I charge you all,
to read God’s word, and pray unto the Lord
that he would be pleased to give you hearts
and wisdom to improve the great and many
privileges that the Lord is at present pleased
to afford unto you, improve your youthful days
unto God’s service, your health and strength
whilst it lasteth, for you know not how soon
your health may be turned into sickness, your
strength into weakness, and your lives into
death; as death cuts the tree of your life
down, so it will lie; as death leaveth you, so
judgment will find you out: Therefore be
persuaded to agree with your adversary quick-
ly, whilst you are in the way of these precious
opportunities: be sure to improve the lively
dispensations of the gospel; give good atten-
tion unto sermons preached in publick, and to
sermons repeated in private. Endeavour to
learn to write your father’s hand, that you may
read over those precious sermons, that he hath
taken pains to write and keep from the mouths
of God’s lively messengers, and in them there
are lively messages: I can through the bless-
ing of God along with them, say, that they
have been lively unto me: And if you im-
prove them aright, why not to all of you ?
God upbraideth none of the seed of Jacob,
that seek his Face in truth: My children be
encouraged in this work, you are in the bond
of the covenant, although you may be break-
ers of covenant, yet God is a merciful keeper
of covenant. Endeavour as you grow up, to
own and renew your covenant, and rest not if
God give you life, but so labour to improve
all the advantages that God is pleased to afford
you, that you may be fit to enjoy the Lord
Jesus Christ in all his Ordinances. What
hath the Lord Jesus Christ given himself for
you ? if you will lay hold upon him by true
faith and repentance: And what will you be
backward to accept of his gracious and free
offers, and not keep in remembrance his death
and sufferings, and to strengthen your weak
faith ; I thank the Lord, in some measure, I
have found that ordinance, a life-making ordi-
nance unto my soul.
Oh the smiles and loving embraces of the
Lord Jesus Christ, that they miss of, that hold
off, and will not be in such near relation unto
their Head and Saviour. The Lord grant
that Christ may be your Portions all.
My children, one or two words I have to
say to you more, in the first place, be sure to
carry well to your father, obey him, love him,
follow his instructions and example, be ruled
by him, take his advice, and have a care of
grieving him: For I must testify the truth
unto you, and I may call some of you to testi-
fy against yourselves; that your Father hath
been loving, kind, tender-hearted towards you
all; and laborious for you all, both for your
temporal and spiritual good: — You that are
grown up, cannot but see how careful your
father is when he cometh home from his work,
to take the young ones up into his wearied
arms, by his loving carriage and care towards
those, you may behold as in a glass, his tender
care and love to you every one as you grow
up: I can safely say, that his love was so to
you all, that I cannot say which is the child
that he doth love hest; but further I may testi-
fy unto you, that this is not all that your father
hath been doing for you, and that some of you
may bear me witness, that he hath given you
many instructions, which hath been to the end
your souls might enjoy happiness, he hath re-
proved you often for your evils, laying before
you the ill event that would happen unto you,
if you did not walk in God’s ways, and give
your minds to do his will, to keep holy his
sabbaths, to attend unto reading God’s Word,
hearing it preached with a desire to profit by
it, and declaring unto you this way that he had
experienced to get good by it ; that was to
pray unto the Lord for his blessing with it and
upon it, that it might soke into the heart and
find entertainment there: and that you should
meditate upon it, and he hath told you, medi-
tation was as the key to open the door, to let
you in, or that into your heart, that you might
find the sweetness of God’s word.
Furthermore, my children, be encouraged
in this work, your father hath put up many
prayers with ardent desires and tears to God
on behalf of you all: which if you walk with
God, I hope you will find gracious answers
and showers of blessing from those bottled
tears for you. O carry it well to your father,
that he may yet be encouraged to be doing
and pleading for your welfare: Consider that
the scripture holdeth forth many blessings to
such children that obey their parents in the
Lord, but there are curses threatened to the
disobedient.
My children, in your life and conversation,
live godly, walk soberly, modestly, and inno-
cently: be diligent, and be not hasty to follow
new fashions, and the pride of life, that now
too much abounds. Let not pride betray the
good of your immortal souls.
And if it please the Lord that you live to
match yourselves, and to make your choice:
Be sure you chuse such as first do seek the
kingdom of Heaven.
My first, as thy name is Joseph, labour so in knowledge to increase,
As to be freed from the guilt of thy sins> and enjoy eternal Peace.
Mary, labour so to be arrayed with the hidden man of the heart,
That with Mary thou mayest find, thou hast chosen the better part.
William, thou hadst that name for thy grandfather’s sake,
Labour so to tread in his steps, as over sin conquest thou mayest make.
Sarah, Sarah’s daughter thou shalt be, if thou continuest in doing well,
Labour so in holiness among the daughters to walk, as that thou mayest excel.
So my children all, if I must be gone, I with tears bid you all Farewell.
The Lord bless you all.
Now dear Husband, I can do no less than torn unto thee,
And if I could, I would naturally mourn with thee.
And in a poor requital of all thy kindness,
if I could, I would speak some things of com-
fort to thee, whilst thou dost mourn for me.
A tender-hearted, affectionate and entire
loving husband thou hast been to me several
ways. If I should but speak of what I have
found as to these outward things; I being but
weakly natured: In all my burthens thou hast
willingly with me sympathized, and cheerfully
thou hast helped me bear them: which al-
though I was but weak natured; and so the
more unabled to go through those troubles in
my way: Yet thou hast by thy chearful love
to me, helped me forward in a chearful frame
of spirit. — But when I come to speak or
consider in thy place, thy great pains and care
for the good of my soul.
This twenty years experience of thy love
to me in this kind, hath so instamped it upon
my mind, that I do think that there never was
man more truly kind to a woman: I desire
for ever to bless and praise the Lord, that in
mercy to my soul, he by his providence or-
dered that I should live with thee in such a re-
lation, therefore dear husband be comforted in
this, (although God by his providence break
that relation between us, that he gave being to
at first) that in thy place thou hast been a man
of knowledge to discharge to God and my
soul, that scripture commanded duty, which
by the effects in me wrought, through the
grace of God, thou mayest behold with com-
fort our prayers not hindered; but a gracious
answer from the Lord, which is of great price
and reward. Although my being gone be thy
loss, yet I trust in and thro’ Jesus Christ, it
will be my gain.
Was it not to this end that the Lord was
pleased to enable thee and give thee in heart
to take (as an instrument) so much pains for
his glory and my eternal good, and that it
might be thy comfort: As all thy reading of
scriptures and writing of sermons, and repeat-
ing of them over to me, that although I was
necessarily often absent from the publick wor-
ship of God, yet by thy pains and care to the
good of my soul, it was brought home unto
me: And blessed be the Lord who hath set
home by the operation of his spirit, so many
repeatals of precious sermons and prayers and
tears for me and with me, for my eternal good:
And now let it be thy comfort under all, go on
and persevere in believing in God, and praying
fervently unto God: Let not thy affectionate
heart become hard, and thy tears dried away:
And certainly the Lord will render a double
portion of blessing upon thee and thine.
If thou couldest ask me a reason why I thus
declare myself? — I cannot answer no other
but this ; that I have had of late a strong per-
suasion upon my mind, that by sudden death
I should be surprized, either at my travail, or
soon after it, the Lord fit me for himself: al-
though I could be very willing to enjoy thy
company, & my children longer, yet if it be
the will of the Lord that I must not, I hope I
can say cheerfully, the will of the Lord be
done, this hath been often my desire and thy
prayer.
Further, if thou could’st ask me why I did
not discover some of these particulars of my
mind to thee before, my answer is because I
knew that thou were tender hearted towards
me, and therefore I would not create thee
needless trouble.
O dear husband of all my dearest bosom
friends, if by sudden death I must part from
thee, let not thy trouble and cares that are on
thee make thee to turn aside from the right
way.
O dear heart, if I must leave thee and thine here behind,
Of my natural affection here is my heart and hand.
Be courageous, and on the living God bear
up thy heart in so great a breach as this.
Sarah Goodhue.
Dear husband, if by sudden death I am
taken away from thee, there is infolded among
thy papers something that I have to say to
thee and others.
July 14, 1681.