A4: Excessive Subordination

A4: Excessive Coordination or Subordination: To improve clarity, break sentences with too many clauses into multiple independent sentences. See the following the third item down at: https://college.cengage.com/english/raimes/digitalkeys/keyshtml/constru6.htm

Excessive coordination and subordination:

A headache can be a stressful and painful part of anyone’s day, but Aspirin makes things better, so I went down to the store where I found myself some aspirin, which I was extremely relieved about because I knew I couldn’t take the pain for more than a few hours unless I got some sleep.

Fixed:

A headache can be a stressful and painful part of anyone’s day.  Aspirin makes things better, so I went down to the store.  There I found myself some aspirin.  I was extremely relieved to see the store carried aspirin, because I knew I couldn’t take the pain for more than a few hours unless I got some sleep.   (Spoon-feed your reader)

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